


I Cannot Say It Well

by Quirky_Pen_Name



Category: IDOLiSH7 (Video Game)
Genre: Domestic, Family Feels, M/M, Practically married RyuuSou, more like Tama feeling lonely, sort of one-sided love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-16
Updated: 2019-01-16
Packaged: 2019-10-11 09:08:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17443994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quirky_Pen_Name/pseuds/Quirky_Pen_Name
Summary: Adults are troublesome. Tamaki isn't exactly sure what "love" is, but he knows what he feels for Sougo is special. He's afraid to be left behind.





	I Cannot Say It Well

**Author's Note:**

> Just a short thing because I felt like writing domestic RyuuSou with their adopted Tamaki (saying son or brother is weird despite the joke you'll see in the fic). It's fun to write lovey-dovey stuff but I also like exploring the relationships outside the romance. Ryuu and Sougo have been dating a while, hence the change in honorifics. 
> 
> Thanks to [Moooomoo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moooomoo), Yui (@masodynamite), and [Kitteninateacup](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kitteninteacup) for their input <3

Mitsuki hums as he carries some towels upstairs to the washroom. Six now, instead of seven. He pauses when he catches something out of the corner of his eye. It’s odd to see that particular door cracked open. Setting the towels down on one of the cubbies, he decides to investigate. 

He hears what sounds like a sniffle, so he gently nudges the door open. It’s mostly dark save for the screen illuminating the face of their youngest member. 

“Tamaki?” Mitsuki calls for him, approaching slowly. 

Tamaki looks up, then hunches back to the game on his phone. “Hey, Mikki.” He mumbles, tapping at his screen. 

“What are you doing in here?” He asks though he’s pretty sure he knows the answer. Tamaki just shrugs. Mitsuki sighs and plops down next to him. “Wanna talk about it?”

Tamaki shakes his head. He sniffles again, brushing his sleeves across his eyes. Mitsuki gives Tamaki’s shoulder a squeeze, “Hey now. Don’t cry or I’ll start crying.” He jokes, but it’s the truth. 

“How come Sou-chan didn’t pick me?”

That question comes as a shock, an instant sobering moment for Mitsuki. “Tamaki…”

“I don’t get it, Mikki. S’like...empty. Things changed.” He shrugs. He continues to tap on his screen. “Sou-chan still spends a lot of time with me, but now…” The tapping slows. “Now it’s just lonely.” 

“Things are gonna change as you get older,” Mitsuki says gently. He can understand, sympathize. Losing your first love is tough, probably the most painful. “But you’re not alone. And Sougo loves you, it’s just different from how he loves Tsunashi.”

Tamaki lets out a shaky breath. “I miss ‘im.” He mumbles, staring at his screen. “But I want Sou-chan to be happy, he finally used his voice.” That’s the problem. He can’t be angry because Sou-chan was so happy. It’s a complicated mess in his heart. Despite being emotionally in tune, Tamaki wasn’t sure what to feel. He’s not even sure what exactly “love” is sometimes, he just knows that this feeling he has for Sougo is special. Because it’s _Sou-chan_. And no matter where he goes, he’ll always have a place solely reserved for him. 

It just hurts to be left behind. 

“Hang on a sec,” Mitsuki gets up and takes out his phone. He disappears into the hallway for a few minutes, then pokes his head back in the room. “Tamaki, c’mon. Let’s go!”

Tamaki gets up and pockets his phone. He begins to follow after but stops in the doorway for a moment. The room is empty, with just the desk and bed frame left. There’s a futon in the corner, the one Tamaki slept on the first night Sougo moved out. He lets out a breath and heads down the stairs after his senior. 

“Old man, you’re coming with us. You can bring _**one**_ beer along. Road trip!” The energetic man calls while grabbing the van keys. The three file out and climb into the van.

The car ride is mostly quiet, despite the radio playing in the background. At one point, the theme to MagiKona starts playing. Both Yamato and Mitsuki reach for the dial to change it and breathe a sigh of relief once on a new station. As the music continues to play, Tamaki looks out the window, chin in hand. Mitsuki sings along with some of the songs and Yamato chimes in with commentary every so often. _It’s warm,_ Tamaki thinks, noting the way his group members care for each other. He’s never doubted that. But it's nice to see; it's the way Iorin brings Rikkun honey milk, the way Mikki and Yama-san toast their beer cans, the way Naggicchi makes them all laugh, the way Sou-chan smiles.

The car pulls up to an apartment complex, and there’s a figure waiting outside by the entrance. Yamato and Mitsuki both turn in their seats to look at Tamaki. 

“We’ll see you at practice tomorrow.”

“Be good for Mom and Dad,” Yamato teases and is rewarded with a punch in the arm from Mitsuki. 

Tamaki slides out of the van and makes his way toward the person waiting outside. The brunette gives a wave to the two in the van, then puts an arm around Tamaki’s shoulder. 

“Come on in, Tamaki-kun. Sougo was sleeping but he’ll be awake by the time we get upstairs.”

Tamaki suddenly feels stupid, stupider than usual. He knows he can be dumb sometimes but Ryunosuke’s soothing big brother voice makes it worse. He nods and follows him into the elevator. 

The two walk in silence to the front door. Ryunosuke unlocks it and holds it open for Tamaki to enter. They both slip their shoes off in the entranceway. 

It’s big, the apartment. It reminds Tamaki of the one that TRIGGER shared, the one where he and Sou-chan hung out during Love&Game. They had both been so excited to stay. 

“Can I get you something to drink?” Ryunosuke asks and Tamaki shakes his head. 

“S’okay, Ryuu-aniki.”

“Tamaki-kun?” A familiar voice calls and Tamaki braces himself when he turns to look at Sougo’s face as he comes from down the hall. He’s in pajamas and trying to stifle a yawn. He looks tired. Tamaki’s eyes well with tears,

“‘M sorry, I’ll get going-“ he turns away, a wave of childish guilt washing over him. Both Sougo and Ryunosuke start to reach for him, but Sougo’s slender fingers grasp his wrist first. 

“Tamaki-kun, wait! Don’t go. Please, come in.”

They both look so concerned. Tamaki shuffles in his spot. Ryunosuke and Sougo exchange glances and then the brunette nods his head toward something. Sougo gives him a nod in return. 

“Tamaki-kun, please. Come with me. There’s something I want to show you.” Sougo’s kind voice is like daggers in his heart, but he nods. After all, Sougo asked. He’s lead to a room on the other side of the kitchen. There’s a nightlight he can spy before Sougo flips on the light. “Ryunosuke-san and I were still working on it, which is why we didn’t invite you over to stay yet…”

Tamaki steps inside the room. There’s an unopened mini fridge box and an unopened TV, but the bed is made nicely with light blue sheets. The corner tucks on the sheets look like the way room service would make a bed at a hotel. A new Ousama Pudding plush sits next to the pillow, and folded neatly at the edge of the bed are a pair of pajamas and a towel. 

“What…?” Tamaki thinks he understands, tears starting to form. 

“It’s your room. So that you can stay any time,” Sougo explains, putting a hand to Tamaki’s shoulder. Their height difference is slightly bigger now, Tamaki notes, trying to distract himself. It’s not working though, the tears are starting to stream down his cheeks. “Our home is your home too, Tamaki-kun.”

He’s hugged suddenly, Tamaki’s face buried in Sougo’s shoulder. 

“T-Tamaki-kun?!”

“I thought you forgot me-“ but the fabric is muffling his words. 

“Please, speak properly, I can’t-“

“Sou-chan,” he says clearly, pulling back just enough to speak. “Thank you.”

Sougo smiles, running a reassuring hand across Tamaki’s shoulder blade. 

“Of course. You’re family, Tamaki-kun.” Tamaki hugs him tightly at that. Sougo returns the embrace. When Tamaki finally releases him, Sougo leans up to brush a bang out of his eyes. “Help yourself to anything. Ryunosuke-san bought pudding for you. I left you slippers in the shower. We’ll all have breakfast in the morning, and then you and I can head to the studio together.”

Tamaki smiles, “thanks, Sou-chan.”

He pats his cheek softly, then heads back to his room. Ryunosuke pokes his head in,

“He stayed up almost all night trying to get it ready for the weekend. I was out of town for work, I told him I’d help tonight but…” he smiles, “I’m glad you could come put it to use.”

“Thanks, Ryuu-aniki.” Ryunosuke ruffles his hair with a laugh. “Hey, cut it out! I’m not a little kid!”

“Nope, but I’m still taller!” Ryunosuke chuckles. 

“Only by 1 cm! Just gimme another month!”

“We’ll see,” The brunette gives him one more hair rustle. Tamaki laughs at that one. “Tamaki-kun, you know…” the mood sobers a bit, as the younger man looks up expectantly. “You’ll always have a place in our family. Sougo’s not the only one who cares.”

“Yeah. I know. Thanks.” They exchange smiles, and Ryunosuke claps him on the shoulder to give it a light squeeze. 

“Shower’s down the hall. Help yourself to anything in the kitchen. We’ll see you in the morning.”

“Nn.”

Tamaki gathers his stuff and heads to the bathroom. There are gross couple things - matching toothbrushes, matching slippers. Tamaki rolls his eyes. He opens one of the cabinets, looking for the soap and realizes it’s the towel closet. He’s about to close it when he spies two unopened pajama sets - one gray and one pink. Ah, that's right. He’s not the only person getting used to this change. He closes the cabinet and goes through his usual routine to prepare for bed. 

As Tamaki climbs into his new bed, he squishes the plush. “Whoa, limited edition! Heh heh.” He clicks the main light off and is soothed by the soft glow from the nightlight. Yeah, change might suck but… he’s still growing and learning how to cope. He’s fortunately got a lot of people he’s learning from. 

“G’night,” he mutters quietly and drifts off into a restful sleep. 

-

Down the hall, Ryunosuke slips into bed and Sougo moves toward his heat. It’s chilly tonight and his boyfriend is like a walking space heater. 

“We had three days to ourselves,” he muses as he wraps his arm around Sougo. “I’m betting Gaku and Tenn show up tomorrow.”

“Mm, I give them until Friday.” Ryunosuke chuckles and kisses Sougo on the top of his head. Sougo settles into a comfortable position before he asks, “You’re sure you’re okay with this, Ryunosuke-san?”

“Of course!” He says, wrapping his other arm around his lover. 

“You’re not the slightest bit jealous?”

“Should I be?”

Sougo sighs, “Ryunosuke-san really is too kind after all.” 

He sounds… disappointed?

Sougo is about to close his eyes to drift to sleep when he’s suddenly flipped onto his back. 

“I asked, should I be?” Ryunosuke repeats, looking down at his boyfriend trapped by his hands on either side of his head. 

“Perhaps… a little,” Sougo muses slyly as his hands trail down Ryunosuke’s chest. “But we have a guest, so it’s not like Ryunosuke-san can _do_ anything about it.” Even in the dark, Ryunosuke can clearly see the glint in Sougo's vibrant eyes.

The brunette leans close, breath tickling the side of Sougo’s ear as his low voice rumbles, “don’t be so sure.”

Fortunately, they strategically picked their bedroom to be the furthest away from the two guest rooms. 

Not that Tamaki could hear them anyway. He was too busy dreaming of pudding.

**Author's Note:**

> And when he woke up his plushie was gone.
> 
> Jk, although I bet you wouldn't have seen that coming.
> 
> I guess this could be a sequel of sorts to [ Grasp the Light Shining Between the Clouds](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17116142) but idk what I'm doing I'm out of control lol


End file.
